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Things Your Beauty Therapist Doesn’t Care About: Part 1

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It’s common for many of us to feel a little bit venerable when we’re bare-faced. It’s even more common to feel that way when we’re bare-arsed. And, since a trip to the beauty therapist often involves the removal of foundation and/or foundation garments, we understand that there is some natural anxiety when going au naturel in the salon.

However! We want you to know that the treatment room is a safe space. Your therapist is a professional, and while there are a lot of things we care about, you can rest assured that not one of them features in this list:

Hairiness
One of the things we hear most frequently from clients is an apology for being hairy – right before we wax them. There is no need to ever apologise for body or facial hair, and if you’re booked in for a wax, we expect the hair. If you arrive for a wax hair-free, then we’ll feel weird.

Blemishes
Don’t feel self-conscious about spots, acne, flakiness or redness. Our priority is making sure we tailor our treatments to suit your skin and recommend the products that will help the most. Sometimes a simple tweak to your beauty regimen will make all of the difference so we prefer to see everything that’s going on.

Budgets
It would be lovely if we could all be like Gwyneth Paltrow and treat ourselves to daily moon juice smoothies, moisturisers made with gold dust and regular vaginal steam cleans. Or NOT. Regardless, we know thrice-weekly massages and the ownership of every lip shade known to woman isn’t realistic or practical for most people – including us!

Boobs
When we give you a spray tan, we will be peering at you very intently. This is because we’re concentrating on making sure you’re a patch-free bronzed goddess. We’re appraising our own handiwork – not your boobs or any part of your naked body.

Vaginas
There is no ‘correct’ vagina. There is no ‘normal’ vagina. Vagina just is

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